I'm a bum.

Maybe not a bum, but I AM unemployed and I hate it. 

This morning the Direct TV guy came and informed me that we don't have a good line of sight and can't get service, so I spent some time on the phone with Direct TV (canceling the service) and our DSL/cable provider, Century Link (they contract out Direct TV) trying to figure out how much our internet will be now, without the promo rate, and also trying to sort out why I can't log in online.  The people were all very nice, but after an hour of that I was just super exhausted - the Direct TV woman just would not give up suggesting various places we could put the dish instead, no matter how many times I told her that our lease only allows ONE place, and it won't work.  The Century Link phone service is just awful - they have ads and extra messages that literally interrupt each other:
"Thank you for calling Century Link, ple- "
"Ask your representative about pay per vi-"
"We are sorry for the delay, please stay on the li-"
again and again and again.  Last night I was on hold for 15 minutes before giving up (after they kept telling me the wait time was 'more than 3 minutes'...vague, huh?), then the first call this morning went dead, but was still active, for 5 minutes before I decided to try again.  Then I got someone, and she answered my question, but I was subsequently transferred not once, but twice, to the wrong department to fix my online login problem.  I gave up then, but at least I was given a direct number to call when I feel up to it again.

After all that, I tried to look up how much cable would be through Comcast, but quickly got frustrated and decided to take a nap.  Which definitely made me feel like a bum.  Jeff promised that we will figure it out when he gets home.   I finally got up and had lunch and spent the rest of the afternoon applying for jobs.  It was pretty discouraging; my initial search turned up 86 jobs, 18 of which I was even remotely qualified for (and I'm not even leaving out the ones I'm just plain uninterested in...I am desperate here!).  Then it turns out 8 of those, I'd already applied for.  I applied for the rest, but again, so frustrating...none of these sites let me upload individual cover letters, even when they ASK for one, so I had to get creative in some places and just tack it onto my CV.  I feel like the cover letter really helps explain where I'm coming from, hopefully preventing looking overqualified.  Of course, one site only lets you use one CV so that was kind of a bust.  In the past I was more selective and only applied for jobs I really liked, but that ship has sailed.

All in all, I applied for 10 jobs.  I am also still being considered for 7 old ones, from about a month ago, plus the two people that Toshi got me in touch with (Barry and Michelle).  It's disheartening because I would LOVE the job with Michelle, and the job with Barry is pretty awesome too, but they're both still up-in-the-air so now I'm applying for jobs I don't particularly like, and in the past I've had no luck with this - I am sick of being told I'm overqualified.  I will decide what kind of job I would be suited for, thankyouverymuch.  I have always gotten overly stressed about money (I blame my mother!) and it really makes me uncomfortable not knowing when I will be getting a paycheck again.  Even though we have savings, I would prefer not to eat through it, especially with how much money we spent moving and getting our new apartment together, plus there's a rumor going around that babies aren't cheap.  Yikes.  We still need to buy baby furniture and while I'm excited about the prospect, that stuff is expensive!

Sigh.  I know it will work out.  Jeff seems pretty optimistic, and I wish I could share in that, but I often find myself thinking he's being unrealistic.  I NEED A JOB!